Couch Potato Kicker Pillows

Football Accident.

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

Unconditional Loveseat

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

Homo Zapiens

'Where does the teacher get this? Wilbur shows no motivation in class!'

'Now that's Real TV!'

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

"It's tough to get him moving, but once he's going he never stops."

Starvation Watching

'He's at a very impressionable age.'

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

"Another CSI spinoff? What's this one called?"

Lockdown Brain

'My arms are getting shorter.'

"That's Reubens, he's an alternate lifestyle coach."

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

"This lockdown is GREAT! - We can spend all day on our computers, eating takeaway junk food and watching crap TV while gambling on our iphones!"

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

"Hang on, I'll get him for you."

"You complete me."

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

"If yer a potato, I'm a potato."

"10,000 steps...just answering doorbells."