Couch Potato Journalist Pillows

"I have a job! I'm an 'I reporter!'"

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

'I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still (would you believe?)')

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

Unconditional Loveseat

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

Homo Zapiens

'Where does the teacher get this? Wilbur shows no motivation in class!'

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what is good on Netflix.

Couch Potatoes

Man watching football on T.V. in armchair made of beer cans.

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

"This lockdown is GREAT! - We can spend all day on our computers, eating takeaway junk food and watching crap TV while gambling on our iphones!"

Oh, the usual. They're watching 'American Idol' and I'm watching Americans idle.

Happy Brithday

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

"Alexa, tell me ways I can be less of a lazy slob who won't get up to turn off the lights."

Advanced Zen for Couch Potatoes: Earl becomes One with his Lazy-Boy.

"Hang on, I'll get him for you."

'It's really nice up here, but I miss all the negative political ads.'

"He's fine, Ma'm."

'Remember, your father may be here physically, but mentally he's attending the NCAA tournament.'

"There's the remote!"

"The doctor wants me to exercise more, so I need you to lift my feet even more when you're not vacuuming."

"All the atmosphere of 'Murray Mound' but in the comfort of your own home!"