Couch Hero Pillows

ACME Exterminators, you name it, we'll kill it.

Check your universal remote control at the door.

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

Captive Audience at the World Cup.

Couch and Potato

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

Indoor Football

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

"What time is it?" "Half past World Cup."

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

'Well, at least there's no chance of you suffering from repetative strain injury.'

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

The Bronze Age of Television

Eventual Motion Machine

"Have we scored yet?"

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

"If the packers lose I'll eat my hat."

"There's the remote!"

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

'School sports day - fat boys playing computer game'

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

Sure, it's just to find the royal remote, but a quest is a quest, Ernie!

Captive Audience.

First Place Layabout

"You need the exercise, so I bought you a bigger remote."

"How much for the couch without the potato?"