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Finding yourself

Man watches a kite on television that he is flying from inside.

"I'm looking for an outside interest I can do from my couch."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'I suppose he gets lost in thought because it's such unfamiliar territory.'

'There wasn't any change in the cushions, but guess what I did find?'

'It's topped with things I found under my sofa cushions.'

'I move that our investment club meet here next Wednesday, whereupon we will once again check under the cushions.'

The Modern Tourist

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

"Ouch! What's fallen into the couch this time?"

"Who says there's no magic in our marriage? Isn't the TV remote constantly disappearing?"

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

Studies show foods work miracles!

TV-Man

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

"Can you hypnotise me into being in shape?"

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

Binge Watch

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"Goal!"

"You're overthinking it. Sometimes a belly rub is just a belly rub."

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."