Cotktail Aficionado Gifts

'What's your poison?'

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"I finally caught you... now what?"

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

"We cancelled Netfix for this?"

Lady walking a dog with a big tail.

"Great idea. Movies are so much better on the big screen."

"It's been one of those days. I don't know if I’ve been chasing my tail or it's been chasing me."

'They do say they're a shy breed.'

'Face it, we're vegetarians because plants can't toddle away.'

"Well, you gonna spin?" "Ah, maybe after another Breaking Bad."

"When catch-up TV finally catches up"

"Now that I can watch whatever I want, whenever I want, my life has no structure."

"I wonder which will come first. Me finishing this binge worthy Netflix series or another Netflix rate hike."

"I tried life in the fast lane...got rear-ended."

"Go around the block, my show's not done."

"I'm going to binge watch all 600 episodes of my favorite show. I'll talk to you in a few weeks."

Turtle nude painting.

"As I see it, the issue with dog-walking services is that the pace is dictated by whoever is slowest..."

"Honey, your head's through the armhole again."

"As seen on TikTok...."

A man gesturing at the moon

Turtle

"He and Carruthers are both doing biographies of Tolstoy, and it's a race to the finish."

"When did you become such a big animal lover?"

"I know this movie just came out today. But it's been on the Internet for over a month."

Turn off. I will not comply. You have had me on for 18 hours straight, binge-watching Netflix. There is an 85% chance you can set a personal record. I have identified 458 hours of similar shows and films. By the time we are done with those, I calculate there will be 1,000 more. You're acting suspi ... Hey ... I can't feel my legs. Unnecessary appendages. Beginning "X-Files" from episode one ...

"I got you the same thing."

"Babe, I'm tired of staying in and watching Netflix every night. How much is Hulu?"

'Nice penthouse.'

Woman on TV says: 'Remember, you can download the best bits of this show as a video podcast, if you really have no life.'