Costume Humorist Pillows

'It's hard to look intimidating with this feather thing going on.'

Circus trousers

"Adopting an Elvis wig and dusting off your old demob suit, isn't going to help dad!"

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

Football Chameleon

'Yes, all at once!'

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

Not you. Your hair.

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

Designer Kangaroo Pocket

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

Ed's receding hairline!

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

I'm sure it's fake.

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

'Well, I think it's very creative of the dog to make a wig from his shed hair.'

The Dandy

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

The Scottish Lawn

Flight Socks.

Bald Man Overcomb

'He's wearing a toupee.'

"I found an old photo of us, when we were punk rockers... Didn't we look ridiculous?"

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

"Trust me, detainee orange is going to be huge this fall."

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

"We've been victorious in many battles, and yet helmet hair remains our fiercest foe."

'If asked, we should all agree that this seminar never happened.'

"When did this game get started?"

'I have way too much respect and dignity to dye the grey out of my hair... so instead could you all just put on these brown-tinted glasses.'