Cost-conscious Companion Pillows

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

Sale.

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

Crisis Buzz.

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

'At least someone can afford to travel by train.'

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

I think I can...

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

Doctor's profits match a patient's scar.

'Well we don't have to worry about paying for the boat anymore.This is our final notice.'

'Haven't they ever heard of walls around here?'

"That fly paper's paid for itself."

Low income vampires.

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

Affordable housing

'All I said was,two could live as cheaply as one until you gave up dieting.'

'I know you're trying to keep health care costs down - but what kind of life support systems are these?'

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

'Jim gets a powerful charge from electric cars but always gets burned by the sticker shock.'

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

Avocado Prices

January Sales

'At these prices I won't be able to say much!'

'This pill you take twice a day before meals. . . this pill you take right after I tell you what those pills cost.'

'Boss, when fuel prices go down, will we go back to using our corporate jet again?'

'Granted, the burros are a lot slower than chair lifts. But for a quarter the price of a regular lift ticket, I'm all for it.'

Pharmacy. These days a miracle drug is one that I can afford.

"I can't afford probiotics . . . How much amateurbiotics?"

"Health insurance? Waking up breathing each morning is my health insurance!"