Cost-conscious Companion T-Shirts

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

Sale.

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

Crisis Buzz.

I think I can...

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

'Well we don't have to worry about paying for the boat anymore.This is our final notice.'

Doctor's profits match a patient's scar.

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

'Haven't they ever heard of walls around here?'

Affordable housing

Low income vampires.

'All I said was,two could live as cheaply as one until you gave up dieting.'

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

"That fly paper's paid for itself."

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

'I know you're trying to keep health care costs down - but what kind of life support systems are these?'

'Jim gets a powerful charge from electric cars but always gets burned by the sticker shock.'

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

Avocado Prices

January Sales

'At these prices I won't be able to say much!'

'This pill you take twice a day before meals. . . this pill you take right after I tell you what those pills cost.'

'Boss, when fuel prices go down, will we go back to using our corporate jet again?'

"Health insurance? Waking up breathing each morning is my health insurance!"

"I can't afford probiotics . . . How much amateurbiotics?"

"Please tell me it's a local call..."