Cosmopolitan Joker Pillows

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Get crazy once in a while

"How fresh is the calamari?"

Joust Sharpener

"Is it true Dad...is the Earth really made of bleu cheese?"

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"April Fools'! You should’ve seen the look on your face!"

'Hey, Baby! How would you like to kiss the frog formerly known as 'Prince'?'

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

Spontaneous Kombucha

'...And do you John take Jennifer to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, to write off on your taxes?'

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

Farmer chasing alien leaving crop circles.

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'When she walks in she lights up the room...' 'It's living next to the nuclear plant.'

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

'Did you check the glove compartment? -- maybe you left the keys in there.'

Pole Star

Sunshine and exercise. Are you glad I suggested we go for a walk?

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

"I'll give you a big wet kiss.. "

Astronaut sees cell tower on the moon.

"Out, damn'd Spot, out I say! Ha Ha Ha Ha!"

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

'The most moving part, for me, is when they explain how to fuse the main pipe to the power hose.'

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

Wordplay: Mandate - Escort Agency.

Keats's heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains his sense.

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"