Cosmic Turntablist T-Shirts

Music in Space.

"Thank you for letting me listen to my oldies. Let's start with some Jimi Hendrix."

High-gravity baseball

An 'out of this-world' soccor player stops the penalty his way!

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

Michael Jackson.

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Club DJ.

"Professor Zlata! You're just in time to be the planet Neptune!"

God creating the galaxy.

God Plays Baseball with the Earth

Rooster DJ scratches records during party.

'OK, who stuck that wedding confetti star on it?'

"Good heavens, you're right - it's a brand-new galaxy made entirely of deleted digital photos."

'This new star sends out periodic pulses in a very appealing rhythm -- I think I'll name it 'Bossa Nova.''

"Why should I feel small? I've just been put in charge of the whole Eastern region."

"I told you not to make fun of primitive life-forms! Now these idiots are killing each other in your name!"

Two alien mechanics work on Curiosity.

"I don't believe in these idiots any longer. You now can call me an atheist."

Space Orchestra

'You said to hurry, so we used amino acids instead of dust.'

Planetarium. The light from distant galaxies can take millions of years to reach earth. Talk about "long time, no see"!

Looks like a weird day coming up.

Atlas' Shoelace Dilemma

"Damnedest eclipse I'VE ever seen."

Happy Birthday Superstar DJ!

Satellite radio DJ Lenny Purtz.

My Dog Scratch

"I knew you'd come!"

God chalks up his pool cue.

"Yeah! Well, I don't believe in karma."

Humans are not logical. A "five-start" rating is very unimpressive when you consider how many billion of us there are out there.