Cosmic Matchmaker Pillows

Last night I met an interesting guy online. He's an Aries with a trust fund rising.

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

Boptimism

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Marry me astronaut

Asking out a palm reader.

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

Romance of Radio Astronomy

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

Astronaut love

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

"Are there space-babes?"

Acme Dating Service

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Match maker

Sidekick speed matching service.

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

"I'm not sure I'm ready to date again. I'm just coming off a bad mitosis."

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

'I guess we're both out of luck. You like girls with big boobs, and I like a man with brains and halfway decent looks.'

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."