Cosmic Matchmaker Gifts

Last night I met an interesting guy online. He's an Aries with a trust fund rising.

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

Boptimism

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Marry me astronaut

Asking out a palm reader.

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

Romance of Radio Astronomy

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Astronaut love

"It must have been fate that brought us together."

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Acme Dating Service

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

"Are there space-babes?"

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

Match maker

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Sidekick speed matching service.

"I'm not sure I'm ready to date again. I'm just coming off a bad mitosis."

The Death Star gets a marketing makeover.

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

'I guess we're both out of luck. You like girls with big boobs, and I like a man with brains and halfway decent looks.'