Cosmic Horror Fan Gifts

"Don't worry—I had one of those when I was a kid, but eventually he just drifted away."

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Transylvanian backpackers.

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

Silence of the Chickens...

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

"Cthulhus, sir. Thousands of 'em."

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

Frankenstein's Monster's PC.

Open House of Horrors

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

Monsters looking for a new bed to move under.

"I guess I misunderstood when I read you were into 'Bodybuilding'."

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

"There's a loose string on your sweater, dear, but I'm afraid to pull it."

What if Huckabee Were a Fundamentalist Hindu?

Zombie Problems

Frankenstein's Reading Light

'Frankendumpty'

'Regular or decapitated?'

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

"Now make sure your heat is high enough to sear your putrid meat quickly."

Gypsy curses didn't seem so threatening after the Mummy went into the peg business.

'I'll be the back yard cutting firewood. Have you seen my protective goggles?. . .Well, luckily I kept my old hockey mask!'

"Oh, Irwin, I wish to god you'd get rid of that thing!"