Cosmic Horror Fan Pillows

"Don't worry—I had one of those when I was a kid, but eventually he just drifted away."

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Transylvanian backpackers.

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Silence of the Chickens...

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

"Cthulhus, sir. Thousands of 'em."

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

Frankenstein's Monster's PC.

Open House of Horrors

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

Zombie Problems

Monsters looking for a new bed to move under.

"I guess I misunderstood when I read you were into 'Bodybuilding'."

"There's a loose string on your sweater, dear, but I'm afraid to pull it."

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

Frankenstein's Reading Light

'Frankendumpty'

'Regular or decapitated?'

"Now make sure your heat is high enough to sear your putrid meat quickly."

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

Gypsy curses didn't seem so threatening after the Mummy went into the peg business.

'And so you can imagine our surprise when we discovered our hall closet was the gateway to hell!'

"Oh, Irwin, I wish to god you'd get rid of that thing!"