Cosmic Conker Champ Gifts

Greek Gods at Play

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'But what is the universe for?'

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Head over Hooves

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

The Lost World: You are Here

Personal conker trainer.

"Is it true Dad...is the Earth really made of bleu cheese?"

'You're about to see a drive for the ages!'

Spaceman looking out of the window of his spaceship at planets.

Emergency exit into Space

"I've been genetically modified!"

'Alpha centuri: 24 trillion miles - Wormhole route: 76 miles.

"We've discovered a habitable planet teeming with strange and wonderous lifeforms! Quick – clear an area for a mining operation and power station!"

Pole Star

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

Farmer chasing alien leaving crop circles.

Small child in plane made from cardboard boxes

'Did you check the glove compartment? -- maybe you left the keys in there.'

"You are here"

'Mummy, Daddy, this is Dylan. Dylan's ambition is to make conkers a recognized Olympic sport.'

Astronaut sees cell tower on the moon.

"Dad, tell us a scary meteorite story."

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

Astronaut stumbles upon a weird space anomaly.

"Space wants to kill you."

Woah, This was well worth swapping my flying saucer for!

Doctors without borders, gravity, or air.

"Hello darling! - I'm back from the black hole!!"

"If Einstein is correct, when we get back, my car will have been double parked for 320 years."

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

"I still thinking he's putting something unidentified on the ball."

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'