Corrections Gifts

'Just make sure you keep to the straight and narrow,old chap!'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

Campaign for Plain English

Punctuation Police

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

Your resume begins Once Upon A Time...I like that!

Ironing Punctuation

"Confounded spell checker... never catches anything."

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

Editor.

THE REPORT: Some of this is brilliant, but that can be fixed.

'Do it write the first time.'

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

One way only.

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

"Don't worry about your hair, dear, I can fix it in post-production."

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'