Corrections Pillows

'Just make sure you keep to the straight and narrow,old chap!'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

Campaign for Plain English

Punctuation Police

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

Your resume begins Once Upon A Time...I like that!

"Confounded spell checker... never catches anything."

Ironing Punctuation

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

Editor.

THE REPORT: Some of this is brilliant, but that can be fixed.

'Do it write the first time.'

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

One way only.

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

"I need a special pencil for math...one with a lot less wood and a lot more eraser."