Correction Fluid Collector Gifts

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Servicemen.

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

"Pinpoint havoc, gentlemen, accuracy of mayhem. And yet our dress blues remain crisp and sharp, our hands soft and pink."

"I need a special pencil for math...one with a lot less wood and a lot more eraser."

A Rifle Competition in the North

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

"...as the devices were nestled on their chargers with care,..."

As you like it - One way of catching fish

Hague Convention Defied! Failure of the new Tommy-Scalder.

'Correct me if I'm wrong.' (Everyone holds their hand up).

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

"I like wine gadgets more than I like the wine!"

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

Count Von Moltke.

"Right - that's my laptop, my laptop charger...my kindle, my kindle charger....my iphone, my iphone charger...my ipad, my ipad charger...all my spare batteries and spare chargers...hmmm, I don't seem to have any room for my clothes..."

Sergeant Stripes

Jazz Bagpipes

Doubling Gloucester Cheeses

'You know Solomon, I just keep feeling that something isn't quite right today.'

'No collar, no din-din,' said Mrs. Flint firmly. 'Omigosh,' thought Larry, 'Fifi will never give it back!'

"Is it just me or does the dog seem calmer since you got it that new collar?"

Large Whist Party in Small Room

Toy shop - Chemistry sets / tampering with nature outfits

Egads. I've forgotten what the rule is about a runner throwing a leg to base ahead of himself.

"I'll be honest with you, I have no idea what half of this equipment does, but it looks pretty cool, don't you think?"

Work clothes.

'What'll it be . . . too large or too small?'

I got you a 20th anniversary present. An iPhone charger? An actual, real gift? What's the catch? House of Java Cybercafe. No catch. For the last 20 years, you've been the best whipping boy I've ever had. You're a complete tool of the technology industry. You've been a real pleasure to mock. In fact, the last 20 years of making fun of your pathetic life has made this two rewarding decades. Plug back in, whipping boy! I will outlast you, smelly old bat!

"It might be a better trick if you didn't use see-through glass"

'Call for back-up.'

Tim's hopes for his safer smoking device were to be dashed when it failed to fit through the door...

Course of Training for Rugger Novices