Corporate Quacker Gifts

'As you may know, I'll retire in a few weeks but you better not think that I'm a lame duck now!'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

"Elementary, my dear Quackson."

"And this is my junior partner, my son, Ira."

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

'When I say we all need to make sacrifices, I, of course, didn't mean us.'

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

'Thank you, Leo. Nothing like a roar to get us going in the morning.'

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

"And this right here was our weekend in the Hamptons."

"It's your cubicle, Nelson, not your coop."

'I'm making you our receiving manager. Now, go fetch!'

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

"And, of course, this is when all our loose change fell out of our pockets."

'This is going to be good, he's taking water balloons into the board meeting.'

Walkie Talkie Company CEO has in/out boxes labeled: Talk the talk, Walk the Walk.

"I work smart, instead of hard. You do all the work and I take all the credit."

"This little snow globe isn't just a paperweight...it was the original business model!"

'In dog years, I have seniority.'

"Want to go watch the people who get to leave at a normal hour?"

'Don't worry, the dog's a sales manager!'

'Salary requirement? -- Just keep me out of the top two percent.'

"I'm feeling quite generous today, so what do you say we all go out to lunch huh? Dawson's treat."

If found, please return to cubicle L-325.

'If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it' actually a gene-modified flounder.'

"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."

'Item 56(B), we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have a meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings!'

'No, we don't have casual Fridays, but we do have casual Saturdays, for employees who can't finish their work during the regular work week.'

"I.T. says these new laptops they gave us come loaded with all the latest viruses."

"Whoa. Nap time again. Meeting adjourned."

'Hello, parent company? -- the guy at the next desk keeps LOOKING at me!'

When we said we wanted you to have more fun training we didn't mean THAT much fun.