Corporate Processes Gifts

"Looks like we found the issue."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

My brilliant career

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

Work Slave

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

'Our Board of Directors are really very fickle!'

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

"Never do today what someone else can do tomorrow."

Burnout Syndrome...

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

Remember take time to stop and smell the profits.

Business cartoon about an incentive to complete the paperwork.

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

'I think our only choice at this point is to take the next big step.'