Corporate Practices Gifts

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

"Looks like we found the issue."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

Welcome to the Team

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

Parade of Businessmen

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

"You're on top of this week's Sales Pyramid."

'This is from a post-ethics phase.'

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

"At First Infidelity we're all about integrity...."

Business cartoon about an incentive to complete the paperwork.

'That's my 'job security' barometer.'

"You know, there's a corporate elevator."

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

"Gentlemen, I've called this meeting to discuss absenteeism."

'As my subordinate, naturally I expect you to take the heat on things that otherwise would make me uncomfortable.'

"No coal here, either - but you never know until you look."

'Risky, but I like it!'

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

'I suppose they call it the rat race because only rats ever seem to win.'

"Well here's my idea: Why don't we try serving better coffee than them?"