Corporate Activities Gifts

How did the executive firewalk go at the week-end?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'That's our mission statement.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Storm in the out tray

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

Build Your Own Portfolio

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

Working hours.

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

'Salaries Manager. No.'