Corporate Presenter Gifts

"I always say there's no such thing as a stupid question, but..."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'The check is in the email attachment.'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

Showbiz Awards

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'I hate leaving work when I feel I could have delegated more.'

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

"What's a debenture?"