Creative Presenter Gifts

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

Ninedency: A budding tendency

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

Direct Marketing...

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

Vanna White: The Later Years.

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

Wordplay: Export.

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

Target your message

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

"In other news a new study indicates dogs are still better than cats."

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

Double Saxophone

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'