Corporate Planner Gifts

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

Executive at desk, thinking: 'I plan strategically, therefore I am.'

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'Jenkins, get me all you've got on hindsight.'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

'We projected every contingency except for our plan actually working.'

"So we're agreed our strategy is to agree strategies for identifying a strategy that will guide us to increase profits."

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'So, in 2079 you see the company breaking even. Can you give me some idea where you see things 10 years after that?'

'Jugular was a 90's procedure... let's go for their heart.'

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

Diversify: Electronics, Bowling Balls, Combs, Potato Chips & Glue.

"Isn't that the new guy from Forward Planning?"

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

"Does anyone have a plan 'F'?"

"We only got six days of funding."

The Audacity of Fake Environmental Hope

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"Who's got the hammer?"

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

Quality Control

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

The Evolution of the Bonus

"As I understand it, after this scaffolding comes down the city will be done."

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

When Engineers Crack.

'Looks like Reginald wasn't kidding when he said he's going to start urban farming on the roof...'

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

'Someone's got to do something about these pot-holes!'

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

"I think you might need to start again."