Business Planners Gifts

"Remember, we've got to dig down together as a team to create the right foundation that will benefit this entire project as a hole."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

"We only got six days of funding."

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

When Engineers Crack.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

"I think you might need to start again."

"We've developed a five year plan that includes ample provisions for another five year plan if this one doesn't work."

Innovation & Calculation

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

Target your message

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

"I think your going to need a business plan."

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

Engineer on the move.

"The margin of error is plus or minus one hundred percent."

'So, in 2079 you see the company breaking even. Can you give me some idea where you see things 10 years after that?'

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."

"Is it too late for me to stop poo pooing his expansion plan?"

Recycling bin for 'short term business plans'

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

Businessman at the deep end.

'Here is my proposal for making our department more productive. The proposal contains my best cognitive distortions.'

"Yes very good, but when I say I need to see your business model before agreeing any loan, I mean your strategy."

"Your entire business plan is to get a loan from me?"