Business Planner Gifts

'I thought you could help me fill in the details.'

'We're going to need more money just to complete the model.'

"My investment goals? Short-term, I'd like to be rich. Long-term, I'd like to be filthy rich."

He managed to get his Mission Statement down to just one word...

"We seem to be going round in circles."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

"We only got six days of funding."

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

When Engineers Crack.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

ACME Balloon Company.

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

"I think you might need to start again."

Innovation & Calculation

"We've developed a five year plan that includes ample provisions for another five year plan if this one doesn't work."

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

Target your message

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

Conference Pears

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

"I think your going to need a business plan."

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

'I need a tool to measure productivity.'