Business Plan Wizard Gifts

'Well, that's a helluva great business plan... What have you done before you founded a management consultancy, Mr... umh... Smith?'

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Deadline

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

Target your message

"We balanced our budget this month!"

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

IN OUT UP DOWN AND ALL AROUND

Monday around 9PM.

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

"I think your going to need a business plan."

"The margin of error is plus or minus one hundred percent."

Stupid ideas rewritten to sound like brilliant concepts.

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."

'You may have three mergers.'

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

"Is it too late for me to stop poo pooing his expansion plan?"

'Which one of these things is the soap?'

Recycling bin for 'short term business plans'

"Gee, Dave, a proposal to balance the budget wasn't really what I was expecting."

Businessman at the deep end.

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

'Here is my proposal for making our department more productive. The proposal contains my best cognitive distortions.'

'With the economy the way it is, I'm going to have to let one of you go.'

"Yes very good, but when I say I need to see your business model before agreeing any loan, I mean your strategy."

Our Productivity Plan: More Coffee

"He's really excited about this new proposal to let staff take over services."

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays