Corporate Irony Observer Gifts

TUC Conference: 'I've invited in someone from the private sector to help drive up our performance in fighting the private sector.'

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

'If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.'

'This is Bob - our secret agent of change.'

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the recruitment and training of new staff to replace the staff we laid off."

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

"I don't know if they do or not. . . I've never opened it."

'He always has your back - - - but it's mostly to step on.'

'I wanted you in a position where I felt you could grow.'

"I don't mind out of control spending as long as it's on stuff I like."

'And along with your promotion you get a key to the executive bedroom.'

The company's going bankrupt,you'll need to get someone in to bite my nails for me!

"Our constantant surveillance indicates workers are becoming more paranoid."

'Corporate Sydney'

"It's a letter from my boss. He says he's not paying me for the time I've been stranded on this island."

'We heat the entire building by burning resumes.'

"May I remind you that I'm still in charge here, Baskin. And when I say, 'Jump,' you say, 'How many floors.'"

'Gurkenman! The fact that you've got a height-adjustable desk does not mean that you've been promoted into a higher position!'

"I really enjoyed my job. Management found about it and fired me."

Perfection Troubleshootors.

Puppet workers.

The serious corporation

The Continuing Adventures of Mel Hufnagel, Corporate Head-Hunter...

"I wanted a balloon puppy, not a balloon vision of my sad corporate future."

"We know how to treat old or stubborn workers. After all, this is a dog food factory."

"I'll take care of it impersonally."

Male & Female separate company buildings

Man at huge desk with a map entitled, 'Map of the Desk'.