Corporate High-flyer Gifts

"Yes, my office has a swimming pool, golf course and helicopter pad. It's good to be CEO."

Att: Executives! Ask about our 'Ego trip' packages!

"City stockbrokers and managers feeling the credit crunch are cutting the 'other woman' from their spending habits. A 'mistress' commodity trading sector may develop as a result."

'He had a charmed life. He went from student loans to hiring bonus to retention bonus to Golden parachute and social security.'

'Here is the corporate treasure trove.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Stock options for your thoughts."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

A fight in the Boardroom.

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

How leaders fail

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

Can do...No can do

Storm in the out tray

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."