Corporate Governance Enthusiast Gifts

Cut directors pay in half and stop all share options - "Right, now, tell me about Plan 'B'."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

The president's men

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

The MBA Draft

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

"At this office no two days are different."

"We have an acronym!"

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

Parade of Businessmen

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

"They've agreed to the merger, the sticking point is who is swallowing who?"

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

'At Tesmer holdings, we don't break the rules! We change them!'

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

"That's six 'noes' and one 'aye', the ayes have it"

Under new blame.