Corporate Gifting Gifts

'They called it 'outsourcing'.'

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

"Anderson, we'd like to talk to you about your stand-offish attitude.'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Christmas Tree

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

Say it with flowers

Businessman: 'We're like one big family here, because of all the nepotism.'

'They're dog roses!'

"We value your input, but all your suggestions involve more play-time, naps and treats."

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

'I'm a bit pressed for time. Give me your one-minute elevator pitch.'

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

"Gift"

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Santa in the Sky: Happy Holidays!

'Chewing cud, Steven? Well, I hope you brought enough for the whole class!'

Love.

"At least we're consistent ... "

"We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion."

'Give it to me straight, Mr. Erskine. Is there a downside to unmitigated greed?'

"I hate it..."

"Shouldn't have, you really."

Valentines Balloons

"Having our team all work on the same page has been a lot more difficult since our company has gone paperless."

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

'Take five Harry, I'm going on ahead to scout for sales'

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"