Corporate Gala Gifts

"The Duke and Duchess of A.T. & T., the Count and Countess of Citicorp, the Earl of Exxon, and the Marchioness of Avco. The Duke of Warnaco..."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

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'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

Inclusive speech

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Sales chart is buildings in background.

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

"My preferred pronoun is they."

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."