Executive Gala Gifts

'I've written a love song about huge bonuses.'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Where your mind & battle are los

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

Businesswoman Empowerment

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"My email is down... talk to me."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'Let's not go by the book.'

Butterfly Woman