Corporate Gifting T-Shirts

'They called it 'outsourcing'.'

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

"Anderson, we'd like to talk to you about your stand-offish attitude.'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Christmas Tree

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"We value your input, but all your suggestions involve more play-time, naps and treats."

Say it with flowers

Businessman: 'We're like one big family here, because of all the nepotism.'

'They're dog roses!'

'I'm a bit pressed for time. Give me your one-minute elevator pitch.'

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

"Gift"

'Chewing cud, Steven? Well, I hope you brought enough for the whole class!'

Santa in the Sky: Happy Holidays!

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Love.

"We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion."

'Give it to me straight, Mr. Erskine. Is there a downside to unmitigated greed?'

"Shouldn't have, you really."

"I hate it..."

"At least we're consistent ... "

Valentines Balloons

"Having our team all work on the same page has been a lot more difficult since our company has gone paperless."

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"

'I'm huggable!'

"The Duke and Duchess of A.T. & T., the Count and Countess of Citicorp, the Earl of Exxon, and the Marchioness of Avco. The Duke of Warnaco..."

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'