Corporate Expansion Gifts

'We're contemplating a hostile takeover? Great! I got an app for that!'

"The board have their own version of musical chairs. Except every time the music stops, they add a chair."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

"Pistachio almond—that's the buyout."

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

'I've moved from being cautiously optimistic to being optimistically cautious.'

"Wait -- I have an app that creates a napkin to write the contract terms on."

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

"I'm a good risk for a business loan because I put 110% effort into my business."

Building a company.

'With the firm growing at the speed it has there are bound to be a few problems...'

"Benign so far."

At the printers - "Business is booming I need 6 more business cards, ASAP."

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

"What do you mean, you're planning to float the business...?

'I'm downsizing in hopes of a merger.'

Modular Offices

"You're darned RIGHT it's a serious problem! Sales people, like goldfish, grow to fit their tanks! He's got to be transferred to a bigger territory, PRONTO!"

'Success in business door' - keep your finger on the button doorbell.

"We're a cable giant, you're a cable giant."

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

'Of course we're a global corporation. We have mail drops throughout the world.'