Corporate Expansion Gifts

'We're contemplating a hostile takeover? Great! I got an app for that!'

"The board have their own version of musical chairs. Except every time the music stops, they add a chair."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

"Pistachio almond—that's the buyout."

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

'I've moved from being cautiously optimistic to being optimistically cautious.'

"Wait -- I have an app that creates a napkin to write the contract terms on."

Building a company.

"I'm a good risk for a business loan because I put 110% effort into my business."

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

"Benign so far."

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

'With the firm growing at the speed it has there are bound to be a few problems...'

At the printers - "Business is booming I need 6 more business cards, ASAP."

"What do you mean, you're planning to float the business...?

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

"We're a cable giant, you're a cable giant."

'Success in business door' - keep your finger on the button doorbell.

"You're darned RIGHT it's a serious problem! Sales people, like goldfish, grow to fit their tanks! He's got to be transferred to a bigger territory, PRONTO!"

'I'm downsizing in hopes of a merger.'

Modular Offices

'Well, yes I can see there's definitely potential for growth.'