Corporate Ethics Buff Gifts

'The Musical School & the Business School jointly present a workshop on: 'Corporate Whistle Blowing'.'

'We're looking for a 'temp' employee to serve time in Leavenworth.'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

Water company bonus.

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

'This is from a post-ethics phase.'

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

'Nothing about the evils of corporate downsizing?'

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

'If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.'

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

"No coal here, either - but you never know until you look."

'Risky, but I like it!'

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

"Well here's my idea: Why don't we try serving better coffee than them?"

'I recommend this to get rid of that stupid little voice whispering 'Don't forget to act ethical and responsible'!

'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. That's a wonderful mission statement.'

Sportswasher's

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

'I'm not authorized to talk about that...I'll have to patch you through to our department of unspeakable evil.'

'Before we start, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

'Now hold on, Mike. You're talking about embezzlement! And unless I'm very mistaken, that's strictly prohibited in the company's employee handbook!'

'Why yes, the resume is a very important basis for who we hire.'

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

"Actually, sir, I’ve found that the shortest distance between two points is money."