Corporate Escapologist Gifts

"I told you they had a tough interview process here."

'Occasionally, one will escape its cubicle, which is why I have all my employees get an identification tattoo on the inside of their ears.'

'Good, I was hoping to catch you before you left.'

worker sign: weeks to retirement changable 2078,

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

Just don't let the old man get you down.

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

"I've just about had it with these corporate retreats!"

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

It was Wilbur's first vacation in 17 years.

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

Imagine there's no office...

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

Man at Fire Escape sees door with 'Hot Button Issues Escape',

Ever thought of early retirement?

"We were told we could find the Wells Fargo records here."

"Don't be afraid – it's just your office,"

"Well, the first reactions to the terrible truth are anger and sadness, but now it's time to act like men!"

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

"Here - I've no use for spreadsheets where I'm going."

A businessman leaves a building carrying a surfboard

"Let me guess. You had it up to here with the world of business, so you packed it all in and started your own winery."

"I took something for my headache. I took my boss to the airport."

"The Company has drawn a line under me and moved on."

"I've thought of someone to blame."

"These LARPERS are a bit more subtle and reality-based."

'Out of office - Please leave your emails in the inbox next door.'

"When I said you could have a summer vacation I didn't mean the whole summer."

"I wanted a balloon puppy, not a balloon vision of my sad corporate future."

"Dan, you forgot to put on your out-of-office."

"I am afraid Mr. Jones is in his career coaching session. Can I get him to call you back?"

"Before we hire you, we'd like you to sign this non-compete agreement. It basically states that you won't work anywhere else for the rest of your life."

"The corporate culture here? It's Junior High School without the acne."

How will this impact me?