Corporate Drama Lover Gifts

'Even though I'm a shareholder, I really don't care what this company earns. I just love the intrigue.'

"They say they're with a private equity firm, but I fear their motives are more sinister."

Twitter Revenues Down

Worldwide Global Conglomerate, Takeover Division: 'FRIENDLY',,,'HOSTILE',

'Does this mean no more company car?'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'Yes, can I help you?'

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

Please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.

'What's wrong? Think the walls have ears?'

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

"It lost a little something in translation."

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

Miniature Design Shop: Think Small.

'I treat everyone here the same as my family. . . like s**t.'

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

'This is just an informal pledge that we all go through.'

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

Time is HONEY

Subordinate Employee

'Enter His Royal Globalness...'