Corporate Theater Lover Gifts

"There's one thing about our new boss, she certainly knows how to make an entrance."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"At this office no two days are different."

"We have an acronym!"

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

Parade of Businessmen

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

Please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.

'What's wrong? Think the walls have ears?'

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

"Gentleman I believe I've found a revolutionary new way for us to more productively waste our lives."

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."