Corporate Drama Critic Gifts

"I don't appreciate you questioning my integrity. Especially since I've skipped town and can't be there to defend it."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

'That's our mission statement.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Spot the difference.

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

Lethal Presentation

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

"The new chairman has dropped the brain-storming meetings."

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

'No matter how cynical I become, I can't keep up.'

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"The company is very keen on diversity, could you reapply as a woman?"

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

'Miss Pym, we've made a smaller loss than last year, order me a much larger desk.'

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"It's o.k., come on out."

'An exxpert team set up a team of special consultants, that then set up a committee whose members asked their 7 year old kids. Now 14 months later they've concluded we're not efficient enough.'