Corporate Culture Detective Pillows

'Lateral hires are always told we do things differently here.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

"At this office no two days are different."

"We have an acronym!"

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

Parade of Businessmen

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

"Do you have a minute, Bob? I'd like to speak with you about the concept of 'leadership'."

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

"I think you might need to start again."

'Go to work, do your job, go home. . . Penburtson, that is the American Dream!'

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

"I'll put your application on file, Mr. Brandt, but I'm quite happy with my current paperweight."

"I'd heard that Farnsworth had a difficult secretary to get past."

Now that I finally have an expense account, there's no time to eat.

"The scowl might just be what this place needs."

"We don't have an exercise room here. You'll stay in shape by climbing the ladder, jumping through hoops, toeing the line..."

'We used to be a patriarchy, but lately we've been more goddess-centric.'

Offices moved to 23rd floor - taking the company to new heights - the management.

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."