Office Culture Detective Pillows

"We're streamlining efficiency by cutting the staff who we employed to improve efficiency."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

21st century water cooler conversations.

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

Boss's Desk Says No!

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

The best financial decision I ever made.

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

"The new chairman has dropped the brain-storming meetings."

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"At this office no two days are different."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

'These are job perks.'

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

'No matter how cynical I become, I can't keep up.'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."