Corporate Culture Explorer Pillows

Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

'It's just a temporary title until the staff gets to know you.'

'Sometimes, it's good to get a different perspective.'

"It's all about teamwork. We even have our own mascot."

Box of powdered gossip, just add water.

"Remember to look miserable when you meet the workforce son. We've spent years convincing them that money can't buy happiness."

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

'Remember, avoid showing fear, don't panic, never stare at him and everything will go off smoothly.'

Is this the kickoff meeting?

"Before we continue, please explain the following acronyms: SEO, SEM, PPC, CRM and LOL."

"Actually, we don't have any openings. I'm just interviewing to keep my skills sharp."

'The project is NOT doable... but it IS delegable.'

"I don't know what that is, but if it's innovative we;ll manufacture a million of it."

"...Let's just blow a big hole and make new path."

"We woke up this morning and suddenly engineering can't understand marketing, and management can barely understand themselves."

Do you take credit for things that others have done?

"The new boss might seem severe, but he won't bite your head off!"

"This new kid is excited and enthusiastic. Schedule a day of mind-numbing meetings to get him down to speed."

'As a department manager, it's my job to find out my staff members' talents and to appoint them to the place they're best at.'

"I'd heard that Farnsworth had a difficult secretary to get past."

Little Businessman Fighting a Big Businessman.

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

"Hi Sean, welcome to my open space. Take a stand and let's talk."

Research...Potential Application and Marketing...Development

"Your 30-day probation is over, Ken. You can come inside now!"

"I hate my job and I'm terrified of losing it."

"Huh, I've spent weeks trying to figure this out, and all I had to do was push that little button. She's on now though boy! Look at her go!"

Feedback doesn't always need to be negative.

"Oh, that's the head of the office!"

Avoid, Liabilities, Assets.

Library: Management Section

"Henderson, it's casual Friday, not no pants Friday!"

As a consultant to high level CEO's he had ice in his veins, but his tail betrayed him.

"I have a recurring nightmare where the paradigm keeps shifting without me."