Corporate Culture Scrutinizer Pillows

"Armstrong, I've worked here for a long time and I think I deserve a raise. How about it?"

"Looks like we found the issue."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Spot the difference.

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

Lethal Presentation

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

"We have an acronym!"

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

"At this office no two days are different."

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

'No matter how cynical I become, I can't keep up.'

'Miss Pym, we've made a smaller loss than last year, order me a much larger desk.'

Parade of Businessmen

"It's o.k., come on out."