Corporate Conundrum Gifts

'Of course I put the children first! Look how much I pay their nanny.'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

"With this company, it's like 'Adventure Capital."

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"What can we do about this leadership course,,," "I don't know,what do you think" "Isn't there anyone we could ask"

"Guess what, Collins? Not my job to remember what I said yesterday."

"Wow, these are great cartoons! We have to let them go, and anyway, cartoonists are on the endangered species list..."

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

Sinking sales

"Do you want to ruin me?! Take it away!!"

'Today the house voted for a timeline, the sentate voted for benchmarks, and Halliburton voted for staying the course.'

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

'If there's one thing I've learnt being a manager,it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

With-it Woman

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

Profit can be a silly thing, but your boss thinks it is everything.

"It's really a lateral transfer, Crampton, From 'Nobody' to 'Flunkie'."

"Why does your men's clothing store need a loan?" "During the pandemic sales of pants have dropped way off."

'Downsizing through attrition will work if enough employees will cooperate and die.'

'Great job! As your reward, you can have a cash bonus or go untethered for a week.'

'We have obligations to our stockholders, our employees and our community - Fortunately, Henderson in legal has found a loophole.'

'Well, if you consider normal corporate surveillance, interrogation, and harassment 'union-busting,', nothing I have to say will change your mind.'

ACCOUNTANT-IN-RESIDENCE: "John, we're going to have to cut back on the cadmiums."

'And here is the effect spiraling energy costs, reduced consumer confidence and limited access to credit is having on our company.'

'We could use a little sales magic.'

"The company is in deep water? Why do you think so?"

Headphones Strip 18: Shared profits

"Dad's having problems at his business. He's been with lawyers, CPAs and financial consultants all day."

"Every complaint should be seen as a learning opportunity, today you’re going to learn where to hide them."