Corporate Confusion Gifts

"What can we do about this leadership course,,," "I don't know,what do you think" "Isn't there anyone we could ask"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

Areas of the Body Where Stress Can Manifest

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

'Did you get the hard copy from Mr. Dawson?'

"Well, I've emailed, faxed, and phoned Dobson. Maybe I should just walk down the hall and talk to him..."

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

Call Your Office

'It may well be nesting J.T but damn it, you've got a company to turn.'

"I'm afraid that following the audit, Mr. Davis is no longer with us... On the bright side, the corner office is now available!"

"We are extremely short-staffed here and you would need to be okay with that. For example I’m the janitor, but I also do interviews in between emptying trash cans."

Aftermath: Hostile Takeover,

"With great power comes great, great stress."

Multitasking executive dog

'We're looking for people who like to take work home.'

I came in early to seize the day...but it seized me first.

"When you reach the bottom of the pile, you'll find this week's paycheck."

'First, I want to apologize for calling this meeting on such short notice.'

"They pay well but they expect a lot from you."

"Guess what, Collins? Not my job to remember what I said yesterday."

Very fat 'Office' facing more waiters with trays of demand

"Wow, these are great cartoons! We have to let them go, and anyway, cartoonists are on the endangered species list..."

"I'm concerned, Larry. All you seem to do lately is put out fires and run around like a..."

'There's a Mr Tilbin here to see you sir. Shall I tell him you're on the phone, in a meeting, or out of the office?'

'Of course I put the children first! Look how much I pay their nanny.'

'Today the house voted for a timeline, the sentate voted for benchmarks, and Halliburton voted for staying the course.'

"Do you want to ruin me?! Take it away!!"

"No, mom. . . it was last winter when I was skating on thin ice. This spring I'm just walking a fine line."

'If there's one thing I've learnt being a manager,it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

'You say he left the office hours ago?'