Corporate Conquistador Gifts

Company rules. 1. Management is always right. 2. When in doubt see rule 1.

"The lab boys figured out how to change lead into gold. Now your job is to corner the lead market."

Men's business romper.

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

A woman wearing a skin sitting behind a desk with a nameplate that reads "Sheena, Queen of the corporate jungle."

Considering she started here as an office temp she's done quite well.

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

Why am I running?

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'

The Devil's in the detail!

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'Watch it...I'm carrying a concealed weapon...my lawyer.'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

'Larry, you have everything it takes to go far in this company, but a word of advice: lose the laugh.'

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

"It's not that you're a failure. It's that you completely lack the capacity for success."

"Somehow I thought they'd be a bit SCARIER."

'I sent an employee to a motivational seminar once. He came back and took my job.'

National corporate ladder of success monument.

'He works in Acquisitions.'

"The only thing wrong with Capitalism is competition. Sign this non-compete agreement."

'The very name 'windfall profits' show it's an act of god.'

'I have too much power... but I'm not complaining.'

"No man's going to stop me from getting to the top!"

'Buzz Off! I'm busy!'

'The question before us is: 'do we pounce on Acme industries and gobble them up and savage them, or do we roll over like a bunch of spineless pussycats and let Acme take us over?'

'I've had tight deadlines, if that's what you mean by performing well under pressure.'

'Profit or non-profit?'

"As you can see, the company's performance has been strong."

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

CEO's office in a safe.