Corporate Communication Officer Pillows

'We can still rise to the occasion but, in light of bad press, just not in the company-owned plane.'

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

This Message Has No Content

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

'I've given a lot of thought to giving some thought to your latest proposal.'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

HR - Helping Relationships

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

'Boss, it seems like a friendly text, but you've got to learn to read between the emoticons.'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

'What's the concept? I'm not sure what you're trying to say, Ms. Harris.'

"It's not downsizing—it's just that we have 976 employees who have chosen to spend more time with their families."

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

'I can beat my own drum but it'll be counting on your to toot my horn.'

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

"This is Mr Jones, the new Head of our Holding Company."

'The Human Right Act bans ANY cruel or unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite our ENTIRE customer care policy!'

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

Giving feedback is a complex process.

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

'Your proposal sounds interesting. Can you send me a written proposal? I cannot reread a phone call.'

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.