Corporate Chaos Admirer T-Shirts

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

'Did you get the hard copy from Mr. Dawson?'

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

"Wait -- I have an app that creates a napkin to write the contract terms on."

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

"Money is life's report card."

Aftermath: Hostile Takeover,

"He's not a big fan of micromanaging."

"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"

"We can't take breaks, but lunch is provided."

I came in early to seize the day...but it seized me first.

'First, I want to apologize for calling this meeting on such short notice.'

'Look at him with another business model on his arm.'

After the Nordstrom-Nordstream Merger

'Carson, this is the new organizational chart. This is you.'

'Dalrymple came to us from the public sector.'

'Most of my clients are shareholders, managers and sales executives.'

"That's when we put those expensive organic snacks in the vending machines."

"You know what I miss? Meetings."

"Most of us only come in two days a week now."

Company spokespersons statement being interpreted into plane English by a second spokesman.

'Before your 'routine' surgery, your manager would like to stop by and give you a 'routine' exit interview.'

'Great job! As your reward, you can have a cash bonus or go untethered for a week.'

"I'll be at lunch. No one thinks outside the box till I'm back."

'Let me start off by saying this: I called you in here by mistake, and now I want you to leave.'

'Someday, Mel, when you're here, I'd like you to teach me how to do that 'conspicuous by his absence' thing you do so well!'

"Be careful of what you say. The CEO is listening in."

'We admire your industriousness, Ken, but you're flooding Human Resources again!'

"Unfortunately, we lost the notes on this portion of our sales strategy."

'Just for the minutes did anyone manage to catch the chairman's parting words?'